These are actual test answers from various schools and they are funny but scary!!
 
Q: Name the four seasons.  
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
 
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.  
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
 
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the  leaves and makes them perspire.
 
Q: What is a planet?  
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
 
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.  All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.  I forget where the sun joins in this fight
 
 SOCIOLOGY 

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?  
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
 
Q: What are steroids?  
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
 
 BIOLOGY 

Q: What happens to your body as you age?  
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
 
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?  
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
 
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
 
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
 
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?  (E.g., abdomen.)  
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, borax and the abdominal cavity.  The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?  
A :A small lie.
 
Q: What does "varicose" mean?  
A: Nearby.
 
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Cesarean Section."  
A: The cesarean section is a district in Rome.
 
Q: What is a seizure?  
A: A Roman emperor.
 
Q: What is a terminal illness?  
A: When you are sick at the airport
 
Q: Give an example of a fungus.  What is a characteristic feature?  
A: Mushrooms.  They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
 
 ENGLISH 

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.  
A :Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
 
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?  
A :Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
 
 TECHNOLOGY 

Q :What is a turbine?  
A :Something an Arab wears on his head.