The Wizard of Oz sets up shop once again, this time on this planet, and not
on Oz.  Before he knows it he has a customer.  It turns out to be Bob Dole.
The Wizard asks him what is wrong.  Dole replies,

"Oh great and terrible Oz, everyone thinks Bob Dole is an idiot thanks to my

presidential campaign.  Is there anyway people can see that I'm actually an 
intelligent person with good ideas?"

The Wizard then states,

"Bob, it sounds like what you need is a brain.  I can do that.  Come with me."

And the Wizard gave Bob Dole a brain.  Next Newt Gingrich came to see the
Wizard of Oz.  He asked,

"Everyone thinks that I'm this mean, spiteful person, and that really hurts
me. Is there anyway I can change the public's perception of me, so they realize
that I'm not such a bad guy?"

The Wizard answers,

"Newt, it sounds like what you need is a heart.  I can do that.  Come with me."

And the Wizard gave Newt Gingrich a heart.  Eventually the President of the 
United States himself came to see the Wizard.  The Wizard, surprised, asked,

"And what can I do for you, Mr. President?"

The president replied,

"Where's Dorothy?"