- Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
     
 - COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
     
 - Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
     
 - Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
     
 - Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
     
 - My software never has bugs.  It just develops random features.
     
 - C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
     
 - C:\WINNT  C:\WINNT\RUN  RUN\WINNT\RUN
     
 - <-------- The information went data way --------
     
 - Best file compression around:  "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
     
 - The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
     
 - BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
     
 - The name is Baud......, James Baud.
     
 - BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
     
 - Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
     
 - C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
     
 - Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
     
 - Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
     
 - As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
     
 - Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
     
 - E Pluribus Modem
     
 - ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
     
 - Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
     
 - A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
     
 - An error?  Impossible!  My modem is error correcting.
     
 - CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted:  Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
     
 - Does fuzzy logic tickle?
     
 - A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
     
 - 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
     
 - 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
     
 - Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
     
 - Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
     
 - SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
     
 - Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
     
 - Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
     
 - RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
     
 - Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
     
 - All computers wait at the same speed.
     
 - DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
     
 - Press <CTRL-<ALT-<DEL to continue ...
     
 - Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
     
 - Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
     
 - ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
     
 - E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
     
 - Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
     
 - All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
     
 - Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
     
 - "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
     
 - DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
     
 - Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
     
 - Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
     
 - Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
     
 - Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
     
 - REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
     
 - Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
     
 - Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
     
 - Read my chips: No new upgrades!
     
 - Hit any user to continue.
     
 - 2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
     
 - I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
     
 - Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
     
 - Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
     
 - Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
     
 - Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
     
 - (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
     
 - (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
     
 - If debugging is the procef removing bugs, then programming must
be the   process of putting them in.
     
 - Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
     
 Prog- rammer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing
with inanimate     objects.
     
 - Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should
be hard     to understand.
     
 - Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
     
 - Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS!
     
 - 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
     
 - Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
     
 - Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
     
 - ....Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
     
 - I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
     
 - I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
     
 - Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change.
     
 - Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
     
 - There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
     
 - I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
     
 - A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
     
 - I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
     
 - Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
     
 - If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
     
 - Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
     
 - If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
     
 - If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
     
 - Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
     
 - It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
     
 - Help Wanted: Telepath.  You know where to apply.
     
 - Look out for #1.  Don't step in #2 either.
     
 - Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
     
 - PC Repair service:  If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
     
 - Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.