> I have just been alerted to some new viruses that are making their rounds 
> on-line. Be on the look out for them, they can be destructive since as
> far as I can tell, no anti-virus software will clean these yet. 
>
> JOHN BOBBIT VIRUS
> Removes a vital part of your hard disk then reattaches it.(But that part 
> will never work again.)
>
> OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
> Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands 
> back to 200MB.
>
> PAUL REVERE VIRUS
> This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of 
> impending hard disk attack - once if by LAN, twice if by C:\
>
> POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS
> Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an 
> "electronic microorganism".
>
> RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS
> Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you
> attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about 
> possible alternatives.
>
> MARIO CUOMO VIRUS
> It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run. <---- This is wrong. 
It should read, "Ran for years and told you to give more money so it could 
keep running, but actually did nothing." (ex gov NY who I dislike)
     
>
> TED TURNER VIRUS
> Colorizes you monochrome monitor.
>
> ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
> Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. 
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS
> Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe jsut cant figyour out 
> watt!
>
> GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS
> Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine. 
>
> NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS
> Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking 
> about it.
>
> FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS
> Divides your hard drive into hundreds of little units, each of which
> does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important 
> part of your computer.
>
> GALLUP VIRUS
> Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 
> percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin for error).
>
> TEXAS VIRUS
> Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. 
>
> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #1
> The computer locks up, screens splits erratically with a message 
> appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
>
> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2
> Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow 
> the user to accomplish anything.
>
> AIRLINE VIRUS
> You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. 
>
> AT&T VIRUS
> Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. 
>
> MCI VIRUS
> Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the 
> AT&T virus.
>
> FREUDIAN VIRUS
> Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard. 
>
> PBS VIRUS
> Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money. 
>
> ELVIS VIRUS
> Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self-destructs, only to
> resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America. 
>
> OLLIE NORTH VIRUS
> Causes your printer to become a paper shredder. 
>
> SEARS VIRUS
> Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and a set 
> of shocks.
>
> JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS
> Your programs can never be found again. 
>
> KEVORKIAN VIRUS
> Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy. 
>
> IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS
> Sings you a song(slightly off key)on boot-up, then subtracts money from 
> your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases 
through
> Prodigy.
>
> STAR TREK VIRUS
> Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before. 
>
> HEALTH CARE VIRUS
> Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends you a bill 
> for $4,500.
>
> GEORGE BUSH VIRUS
> It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs ... no new files!" on the 
> screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive 
with new
> files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus. 
>
> NEW YORK JETS VIRUS
> Makes your 586 machine perform like a 286 
>
> LAPD VIRUS
> It claims if feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases 
> them in "self-defense".
>
> CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS
> Your PC makes frequent mistakes and come in last in the reviews, but you 
> still love it.
>
> ORAL ROBERTS VIRUS
> Claims that if you don't send it a million dollars, its programmer will 
> take it back.
>
> O.J. VIRUS
> It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your 
> files and vows to find the virus that did it.