"Signs Bob Dole is in Bed with the Tobacco Industry"
     
As presented on the 07/03/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
     
10. Posters for his rallies include the line, "Free Marlboros for the kids!" 
9. During speeches, pauses every few minutes to hit the ol' spittoon
8. Named his cocker spaniels "Philip" and "Morris"
7. Claims there's no connection between cigarettes and cigarette burns 
6. His choice for new head of National Council on Physical Fitness:
   Keith Richards
5. Campaign ads show him holding a beach ball with caption, "Bob Dole:
   Alive with Pleasure"
4. He's requested FBI files on everyone who uses "The Patch"
3. In the latest Marlboro billboards, check out the cranky old cowboy
   in the background
2. His new campaign slogan: "Fogies for Stogies" 
1. Has a Joe Camel tattoo on his ass

                \\|//
                (o o)              THE ORACLE SERVICE HUMOR MAILING LIST
~~~~~~~~~~~~oOOo~(_)~oOOo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
Steve Willoughby's E-mail:        SUBSCRIPTION -- It's FREE!: 
---------------------------       ---------------------------- 
oracle@synapse.net                To subscribe to the Oracle's 
st944wk3@post.drexel.edu          mail list, send a message with only
                                  the word SUBSCRIBE in the body (not
                                  the subject) of the message to:
WWW Site                          humour-list-request@lists.synapse.net 
-------------
http://www.synapse.net/~oracle/Contents/HumorArch.html
     
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~